2008-07-08 - 10:12 a.m.
Tuesday morning
So, tomorrow my four year old will be five. It's hard to believe that my babies are getting so much older. My youngest will be three in December. I am still happy with having only three. I don't want another one. I have a friend who is pregnant, and a couple of others that just had babies, but it doesn't make me want one. I guess I'm really done. Funny, cause I always thought I'd have four.
Anyway, Leo is at work now. Apparently, his boss told him he needed to be there at 8:30 every morning, so no more working from home. I have to say, I am happy about that. Not that I don't want him here, but I get a lot more done when he's not here. I feel like he's looking over my shoulder, or perhaps I'm in his way while I'm trying to get my stuff done. I just feel more motivated knowing I'm in charge of my day, and no one is going to step in and ask me to do something else first or whatever.
Of course, he only left me six smokes I think. I haven't found any others yet. I have tried to chat with him a couple times, but he didn't respond.
Last night he went to bed around 7:30. He seems to do that a lot lately. I hate it. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much, because it isn't like he helps me with the kids that much anyway, but maybe it's the fact that if I need something, I can ask. I don't know because it bothers me more if he goes to bed that early than if he isn't here at all. I guess I feel rejected. So anyway, he got up really early this morning. Oh and by the way, I had to sleep on the couch because he made sure he was taking up the whole bed. He was sleeping on it backwards, with his head where his feet should go, on top of the covers, and across the whole bed. There was no way for me to even think about getting in the bed. So, he wakes me up at some point when he's in the living room trying to watch tv because our tv is weird and if you are listening to music, one of the music channels, the very next channel you go to the sound doesn't work and you have to go to another channel and then it will work and you can go back to the channel you want to watch. It's so common for me that I just say if I want to watch channel 15, I go to 14 and then change it and it's fine. Anyway, he forgot about this, so he was mad because he thought I did something and broke the sound. Then I got up to move into the bedroom. He's like, you want coffee? I said what time is it? And he said 5am, but I looked at a clock and it wasn't 5am yet. It was like 4:45. So I went to bed in the room, and he comes in and wakes me a few more times. I don't know why he can't respect that I am asleep. He just talks to me like I'm awake, or lazy because I'm asleep at 5am. Who knows. I didn't go to bed at 7:30, and even if I wanted to, I couldn't have. I did fall asleep pretty early though, around 11pm. I usually stay up til midnight or so, but I was tired. I had had a rough night the night before. My birthday child is sick. She was sick yesterday, and still not that great today. I hope she'll feel better for tomorrow. I'm sure we'll still get to have her "party" I use the term loosely because we're only having the family and my one neighbor over. Leo may not even be here, cause I'm probably doing it during the day. The plan is to make the cake today though, but I don't know.
Anyway, so I am feeling okay today, maybe a little run down. I still wish I could spend like a week in bed. I feel like I need to recoup from the last 7 years of taking care my kids. Especially my youngest. She is a handful.
