2008-06-19 - 9:50 a.m.
Thursday morning
So, I haven't written in a while. Last time I wrote, things had been going well with Leo and I, actually they had been well for some time.
They are no longer well.
Yesterday morning we had the worst fight we've had in a long while, and it included some physical contact on his part, him hitting my fists that were raised in defense of my face. He gets right up in my face and basically screams, so that I really have to turn around, so he's yelling at the back of my head. Anyway, the whole thing was over the fact that he didn't think I was doing a good job of getting him out of bed in the mornings. I was sleeping in too much.
Anyway... today, he pissed me off because I was going to the store to get smokes for both of us, and he said, "don't lose my mutha-fuckin keys"
So, I misplaced the keys yesterday for a while, so he could have said it in a much nicer way, and it pissed me off. So I was pissed off the whole time. Oh, before I left, I said fuck you. I said, there are so many times you say shit to me, and I want to say fuck you, but I don't, but now I am. And of course, he had to retort with some stupid speech about who knows what really, but it boils down to the fact that apparently, he should be able to talk however he wants, and it shouldn't bother me.
So, anyway, I go to the store and come back, and I'm still pissed off, so I walk in, set the keys and his smokes down next to him, and start to walk off, but he sees I'm pissed, and for some reason, when he sees I'm pissed, he can't let it go, he has to talk about it, which generally means, yell at me about how I'm the one that fucked up, not him, and really I have no reason to be pissed because, blah, blah, blah.
I am still pissed. I'm not caving this time.
I said some things I'm really proud of, like the fact that he insists I speak respectfully to him, but he refuses to to the same for me, and he says something stupid like, you get your feelings hurt over everything, and I said, well that means you should be extra careful, but he doesn't care, he's always got excuses.
Anyway, I don't know. I have no idea how to talk to him. He says I don't know him, but I think he's the one that doesn't know himself.
